JACK-OF-ALLDAYS FLUNKED THE ALIEN CLASS: HOW MAN GOT TRAPPED IN HIS OWN IMAGINATION

Source: Biblioteca Pleyades.

By Gundhramns Hammer

October 7, 2014

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Warning: Not suitable for delicate folks! 

In the beginning, the Ancient One and its cronies, a bunch of serpentoid extraterrestrial aliens, made a man and saw it was good.

But this first man was no good at all. He was fucking lazy and was jacking off all day long.

So the serpentoid aliens decided to make a female companion for the man they came to call Jack-of-Alldays. This way he would not go bananas with his banana peel he had picked in the next door garden, for he was also a thief.  

Voilà! A female popped out of nowhere!

Not wasting any time, Jack-of-Alldays got busy hammering her like a bunny (Video 1).

 Video 1. Bunny trying to make more DNA.

He did work after all. But only with his hammer (Video 2). He hammer in the morning, hammer in the afternoon, hammer all day long (Video 3). 

 Video 2. Hammer Island.

 Video 3. Trini Lopez and his hammer.

The coupled couple never left their love nest for four days when they were hungry.

He went hunting but came home empty-handed. The woman, on the contrary, brought a bunch of rotten apples to their love camp.

As he was trying to reach a rotten apple, she yelled at  him: 

• You´d better eat my apple first if you wanted your apple, you... rotten and lazy creep!

So he gathered some DNA replicating strength out of nowhere and got busy hammering her. 

After that, some rough hammering that made her smiled and shut her mouth, for she was as mad as he was, both got really busy eating rotten apples.

But they had not yet finished their first rotten apple when a serpentoid alien appeared in front of them.

The alien said:

• We are your makers. So bow before me!

Since he was a real motherfucker, Jack-of-Alldays screamed quite angry:

• Fuck off! Get lost unless you want your ass hammered to the hilt! Common, beat it! You bastard lizard!

Then, the serpentoid aliens saw that both of their humanoid creations were not any good for their purpose.

So, the aliens decided to trick their first creation. They set up a couple of virtual traps.

One day, Jack-of-Alldays stumbled upon one of these virtual traps. He thought he had found another woman and that having two was better than one. 

Being a sex maniac, the first thing it occurred to him was to hammer her.

He did try hammering her but as he was blasting off his rocket (Video 4), he was blasted flat (Video 5) and thus got forever trapped in his own fucking imagination.

  

Video 4. Rocket blasting off.

 Video 5. Missile landing.

Lazy Jack-of-Alldays flunked the alien class. He got trapped in his own mind.

This is how ever since humans came to be trapped in their own imagination. Trapped admiring their own minds.