MAN´S BALLS: THE TALE OF BALLS UPON BALLS

By Gundhramns Hammer
July 1, 2013


                             WARNING: IT MAY OFFEND SENSITIVE PERSONS!

Source: Soda Head

Once upon a time there was a man named Balls. His parents gave him such a name because he was all balls at birth. His balls were so big that his mother confused his balls for his head when he came into this world full of balls whose owners go around smashing and crushing balls in games of balls.

Balls grew up to be stronger than a bull. He was sent to school so he would learn to keep his balls.

His schoolmates used to make fun of him. The boys joked about Balls´ balls all the time. Sometimes the mean boys would kick Balls right in his balls.

The girls giggled whenever they saw Balls because his pants had special big pockets to put his huge balls. Some were afraid of him and stayed away from Balls.

Balls was very unhappy because of his balls. His Balls would get in the way of everything he did including the dancing balls.

Whenever he played at who runs the fastest he always finished the line last, for his pair of balls dragged him behind the other boys with balls. 

In the end, Balls decided that in order to avoid getting laughed at by people because of his big balls or stumbling and falling over and cracking his balls, it was better to stay at home.

But Balls was not all balls. He had a brain that was good at inventing war games. He imagined and devised all the war games he could night and day and came up with solutions and strategies to win them all shine or rain. 

So Balls got to be famous as an adviser in all of the wars, in those games men play when they want to lose the balls.

The king of his land heard of Balls. The monarch invited Balls to come to the palace and asked him for advice in a war. The king was fighting against his neighbours to get their mountain that had tonnes of gold.

The king was successful in winning the war and had his gold. So he named Balls the Master of his Balls. The Master of His Majesty´s Balls, that is.

Some people say that Balls lived happily ever after at the king´s palace. 

Others affirm that Balls died in the palace war hall with both of his balls cracked by a mountain of iron cannon balls that rolled over his balls.

Whatever happened to Balls, one thing is true: That Balls became a legend in his land as "Balls upon balls". Or was the other way around?

Man and his balls

The history of humankind (Homo insapiens) is a story of balls. Balls to fight, balls to reproduce and balls to have fun. Balls upon balls. 

No balls down, no balls up. Man´s world would come to a halt.

                                             

Homo erectus. Source: Google imágenes

                                                                           

                           

Source: Tony Roda´s Menstream

                                                                               

                                                                

Source: Saludmed.com

                                                                               

    
                                           

Source: Google imágenes

                                                                              

                                                                               

                                                      

Source: Google imágenes

                                                                             

Source: Google imágenes

                                                                          

Source: Google imágenes

                                                                           

                                              

Source: Google imágenes

Capitalism, globalisation, patriarchal power structures, militarism, war, and Biosphere destruction can be contained in one single molecule of man´s balls: Testosterone.

In his book entitled "Man´s Greatest Fear: The Final Phase of Human Evolution (1995), Dr. Tim Marshall says that:

"With few exceptions, civilizations throughout history have been governed by men. Because of his brute strength and corresponding attitude of "might makes right", man has culturally shaped and dominated societies for centuries, thereby leading one generation after another into the future. A review of human history reveals the consequences of male leadership, a myriad of problems continually plaguing our species (e.g., war, environmental destruction, starvation, and overpopulation).

An examination of some recent male leaders reveals a pattern of self-serving and short-sighted decision making consistent with man´s constant quest for social status, money, and power" (p. 113).

Does this mean that we would be better off with women at the helm?

More likely we would have the same result, especially nowadays when processed and junk foods humans eat, the water and other substances they drink, and the medicines they take disrupt their endocrine glands. 

And let us not forget that women´s ovaries also produce testosterone (Fig. 1).

Figure 1. Military woman. Source: Miliwoman.

There is plenty of evidence for anyone to see wherever he/she wants to see that if man (Homo insapiens) is not careful with his balls, he may end up loosing his balls like the man in the tale of Balls upon balls.

Any way you look at it, humans are fucked up. Unless they wake up...

              

References

Marshall T. (1995). Man´s Greatest Fear: The Final Phase of Human Evolution. Athena Books, Gilroy, CA, USA. 186 p.