HUMAN FUCKPRINTS: ECO-FRIENDLY AND ECO-UNFRIENDLY FUCKS

By Gundhramns Hammer & Salvatore Scimino.

July 31, 2013

Source: Strange & Funny Pictures.

A fuckprint can be defined as the impact that a fuck has on the environment, directly or indirectly. A fuck can be eco-friendly or eco-unfriendly.

Nonhuman animal screwing as a whole results in eco-friendly fucks. Plants sexual life is also eco-friendly.

Therefore, their fuckprints are definitely sustainable, in the full sense of the word.

There may be exceptions to this rule as when man interferes or animals have been introduced in a different habitat. Thereby the exotic or invasive species has the possibility of multiplying exponentially and eventually upsetting the natural balance, especially if they have no direct predators. 

A similar situation may occur after natural disaster or an invasion of an island where there is not much food to go around. 

But eventually their fucking evens out and their fucks become eco-friendly.

Parasites fucking cannot be an exception, for their job is to keep natural populations in check. In Nature nothing is superfluous.

Eco-friendly fucks

Most people hate them. But they have a lot to teach human beings when in comes to having eco-friendly fucks.

They have short, happy and energy efficient lives. They are despised but are useful nevertheless.

Let us look at one of their fucks.

The male spotted a female and quickly swooped down towards her. They did not waste any time to have a good fuck. The sexual encounter was as brief as a primordial Big Bang.

Soon after the blissful seconds, the male disengaged his "phallus" and the pair separated and continue flying as if nothing had ever happened. 

Thus was the story of two house flies (Musca domestica) that were flying around in the living room of a country home. They had just had a swift and damn good fuck. 

No foreplay to heat up the sexual partner or risk of being rejected. No depressions, no guilty feeling, no trips to the psychologist or the priest and no furious arguing after the sexual intercourse. 

Neither were there heaps of bathroom tissue and towelettes soaked with "love" juice and lubricants and tangled up with pubic hairs piled by the bed. 

There was just an eco-friendly fuck. One of the simplest in Nature (Fig. 1) and costs nothing (Table 1). 

Figure 1. Flies having an eco-friendly fuck. Source: TKM.

Table 1. The fuckprint of a house fly (Musca domestica).

Category	Cost $US
Full insect equipment	0

If any maggots ever come out of the eggs laid by the female house fly, their job would be to recycle what is to be recycled or become food for other creatures.

House flies (Musca domestica) can be vectors of food spoilage or parasitic diseases and therefore become a problem for human economic activities. But this is another story. 

These insects enjoy visiting places such as piles of shit, sewers, garbage heaps, dumps and other "beauties" produced by the "sapiens" antibiospheric human activities. They remind humans of their filthiness and shittiness.

But what is really important to keep in mind is that it is man alone the stupid creature that is screwing Earth. 

All creatures on this planet except man (Homo insapiens) go around doing their thing, "earning a living" in a selfish manner, including the social organisms, but in the end everything they do adds up to the maintenance of the Ecosphere. 

If animals sometimes cause havoc in their own habitat, for instance African elephants destroying too many trees, it is because man has interfered in the natural course of things. Animal borders do not fit into the artificial borders Europeans imposed on Africa. 

These large pachyderms are now penned in national parks and the boundaries of the African nations south of the Sahara Desert did not take into account the elephants national boundaries since people do not see elephants as other nations when they really are.

So we can safely say that animals interacting with one another and with the rest of the members of the natural communities keep the Biosphere sound and healthy.

Humans do the opposite. They go about doing their fucking things in a very selfish manner as well but their actions sum up to destruction, contamination and killing whatever they do, touch, gobble up or wherever they go.

Even in the jungle, small bands of aborigines screw up the small plot of nature where they live and after staying on the same spot a couple of years, they must move on when the soil gets poor and gives them no more crops. 

The idea that man ever lived in harmony with nature in the past is simply not true. Once examined under the microscope it does not hold true. 

Humans work as a whole against the maintenance of the Biosphere.

Although there are some attempts of doing some ecosystem bioremediation of degraded farmland or eroded mountainsides in some parts of the world, overall humans behave like a horrible cancer on Earth. 

Man has a specialised brain to think and solve problems to survive but his thinking machinery and machinations causes more problems than solve in the end. 

Moreover, he uses his brain not for what he should be doing: Acting as a good warden of Earth. He does the opposite. 

He is a fucking stupid beast, ecologically speaking. He scores the lowest on the ecological intelligence scale when compared to other creatures on Earth.

Eco-unfriendly fucks

The room suddenly became quiet. The couple of humans had just twisted, tumbled, shaken, screamed and squirted, engaged in their favourite past time, heavy duty sex on a wide water bed. 

After their huffing and puffing, both were worn out, sweaty and relaxed and soon were sawing wood.

Human fucks can be simple, a brief encounter in the bathroom or in a car and that´s it. 

They can also be very elaborated and complicated, with lots of twists and turns to reach the first fuck.

The most common situation is as follows.

The couple starts out with dating and going to restaurants or the movies and then they move on to bigger things like shopping or travelling together, little by little climbing the staircase to the bedroom until the big day of the first fuck or the wedding, if any, which can be a prosaic ceremony or an extravagant and expensive royal parade. 

So, for the male to start fucking, he has to invest a lot of time and money, which means impact on the environment in the end: energy for walking or gasoline for the car or bus, rubber for the condoms, bathroom tissue or wet towelettes, chocolates from plantations where children are exploited, hamburgers from deforested areas or sophisticated expensive meals prepared with energy expensive raw materials like the meat from grain-fed animals or exotic animals illegally trafficked, blood diamond rings, flower bouquets, wash detergents, soaps, perfumes, etc., etc., all linked to natural resources.

Of course, the male might get lucky and finds a rich and lonely woman who is willing to pay everything for him as long as he keeps fucking her. In which case, there is also consumption which is eventually tied to the environment.

So, human sexual encounters are eco-unfriendly fucks.

Human eco-unfriendly fucks differ as far as price is concerned. Some are cheap and the couple waste no time and gets busy fucking whenever and wherever they can. So their fuckprint is lower but it is always there nevertheless.

Others fucks can be very sophisticated and extremely expensive, with a huge fuckprint. Royal weddings are a good example of a wedding with a squandering and giant fuckprint (Table 2, Video 1). These are done to show off money and power and keep dumb people happy, dreaming of fairy tales of kings, princes, princesses, knights, wizards and dragons. To keep them with their minds away from any idea of mutiny or rebellion from their imaginary and tethered "freedom".

Table 2. The fuckprint of a human (Homo insapiens). The real costs of the recent British royal wedding. Data from Yahoo! Voices via RadarOnline.

Category	Cost $US
Bride´s dress	434,000
Wedding ring	11,000
Wedding cake	80,000
Flowers	800,000
Receptions	600,000
Security	32,000,000
Clean up	64,000

                                 
                                      Video 1. An example of a giant human fuckprint.

Since this royal wedding caused an increase in consumption of resources because of the tremendous tourist flow (energy waste) into the island, the ramifications and real impact of this human eco-unfriendly fuck (i.e., the fuckprint) on the fabric of the Biosphere remains unknown. 

Therefore, human fuckprints are detrimental to the environment, and contribute to the deterioration of the Biosphere. They are unsustainable.

 

Summing up, human fucks are not sustainable. Humans are not sustainable unless they are dead. 


References

Fowler C. W. (2009). Systemic Management: Sustainable Human Interactions with Ecosystems and the Biosphere. Oxford University Press, Oxford, UK. 295 p. + 6 appendices.

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