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| IT´S NOT FAIR!!!! Source: SuperStock. |
By Gundhramns Hammer & Salvatore Scimino
December 11, 2013
Select, paste & translate
Once upon a time there was a powerful man who was the creepiest amongst his creepy fucking band. He had eating habits that were more on the V alien side.
Fuktolio was his name, a tag attached to a last name that sounded like Wizabanjo. Of course, he could not play the banjo. He used to joke that his family name meant "worm". Perhaps he was right, for he looked like a fat maggot.
Fuktolio acted normal when he wanted to be seen normal but he was abnormal when no normal people were around him, those folks who are supposed to be normal in a modern society where almost everyone is abnormal.
For breakfast, he would have nothing unless it was a sandwich made of lots of mayonnaise, lettuce leaves, tomato dipped in snapping turtle blood and a stack of slices of bushmeat salami especially made for him with elephant penises.
The icy Arctic wind would always find him living in his expensive Paris penthouse each year, sipping a cup of Sumatran coffee pooped by a civet (Fig. 1) from a "sustainable farm" where Paradoxurus hermaphroditus are kept prisoners.
Not that he liked cold weather, for during the winter time he was afraid he would lose his reproductive package, thus he would use a special electric warmer to keep his balls from freezing.
But in France Fuktolio would get a chance to see how many chances he had had in his monkey businesses which tied him up into a strange spinning wheel of mafiosi motherfuckers who were also into weird habits such as munching on flamingo tongues in honey and wart hog testicles on sundays.
This man who was no ordinary man even though he had the appearance of a man he was more like a satan, for dinner he would always have roasted chimp heads (Fig. 2) and raw monkey brains.
And once in a while Fuktolio would indulge himself with the choicest of his deli: A piece of human meat.
In such case he preferred albino babies. He used to tell his aberrant friends that human babies were juicier and sweeter.
How Fuktolio had picked up his taste for human meat was a total mystery.
He was fond of reading nasty medieval stories of vampires, cannibals, demons and witches ever since he was a child and his brains might have become warped and twisted then, for developing human brains are such delicate things that should be they exposed to what they should not be exposed people could end up as adults developing and enacting in real life what they were exposed to as kids.
No one knew how Fuktolio used to get this kind of flesh, hominid meat that is, but money can buy just about anything under the Sun.
He had friends who also had friends who had other friends until the chain grew into a long chain that connected eventually to another chain that became a web of chains as far as some unlucky one in a poor village or jungle somewhere in Africa, Asia or South America.
The same dark connections connected him to the underworld to get anything from the shitheads who move the fucking bushmeat trade around the world.
This way Fuktolio would acquire exotic wildlife: Flying fox breasts from Australia, puma meat from Patagonia, snapping turtles for his real bloody Marys from Florida, pickled vampire bat brains from Mexico or Panama, flamingo legs from East Africa, hippopotamus chitterlings from Kenya, the cheetah tongues and giraffe buttocks from central Africa, condor wings from Peru... Anything.
He never bought any exotic meat from any of the "sustainable exotic animal" and "socially conscious" farms that have popped all over the globe, from Pakistan to Western Europe., some of which are really "animal sustainable washing" (money laundering) enterprises.
Sad... Indeed very sad!!
Soon all we will be left with is empty forests, empty oceans, empty caves.... Just "hogging humans", fucking and killing around.
Fuktolio was his name, a tag attached to a last name that sounded like Wizabanjo. Of course, he could not play the banjo. He used to joke that his family name meant "worm". Perhaps he was right, for he looked like a fat maggot.
Fuktolio acted normal when he wanted to be seen normal but he was abnormal when no normal people were around him, those folks who are supposed to be normal in a modern society where almost everyone is abnormal.
For breakfast, he would have nothing unless it was a sandwich made of lots of mayonnaise, lettuce leaves, tomato dipped in snapping turtle blood and a stack of slices of bushmeat salami especially made for him with elephant penises.
The icy Arctic wind would always find him living in his expensive Paris penthouse each year, sipping a cup of Sumatran coffee pooped by a civet (Fig. 1) from a "sustainable farm" where Paradoxurus hermaphroditus are kept prisoners.
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| Figure 1. Coffee beans pooped by civets. Source: The Economist. |
Not that he liked cold weather, for during the winter time he was afraid he would lose his reproductive package, thus he would use a special electric warmer to keep his balls from freezing.
But in France Fuktolio would get a chance to see how many chances he had had in his monkey businesses which tied him up into a strange spinning wheel of mafiosi motherfuckers who were also into weird habits such as munching on flamingo tongues in honey and wart hog testicles on sundays.
This man who was no ordinary man even though he had the appearance of a man he was more like a satan, for dinner he would always have roasted chimp heads (Fig. 2) and raw monkey brains.
 |
| Figure 2. Our closest relatives on the planet: Victims of the bushmeat trade. Source: Wildlife Extra News. |
And once in a while Fuktolio would indulge himself with the choicest of his deli: A piece of human meat.
In such case he preferred albino babies. He used to tell his aberrant friends that human babies were juicier and sweeter.
How Fuktolio had picked up his taste for human meat was a total mystery.
He was fond of reading nasty medieval stories of vampires, cannibals, demons and witches ever since he was a child and his brains might have become warped and twisted then, for developing human brains are such delicate things that should be they exposed to what they should not be exposed people could end up as adults developing and enacting in real life what they were exposed to as kids.
No one knew how Fuktolio used to get this kind of flesh, hominid meat that is, but money can buy just about anything under the Sun.
He had friends who also had friends who had other friends until the chain grew into a long chain that connected eventually to another chain that became a web of chains as far as some unlucky one in a poor village or jungle somewhere in Africa, Asia or South America.
The same dark connections connected him to the underworld to get anything from the shitheads who move the fucking bushmeat trade around the world.
This way Fuktolio would acquire exotic wildlife: Flying fox breasts from Australia, puma meat from Patagonia, snapping turtles for his real bloody Marys from Florida, pickled vampire bat brains from Mexico or Panama, flamingo legs from East Africa, hippopotamus chitterlings from Kenya, the cheetah tongues and giraffe buttocks from central Africa, condor wings from Peru... Anything.
He never bought any exotic meat from any of the "sustainable exotic animal" and "socially conscious" farms that have popped all over the globe, from Pakistan to Western Europe., some of which are really "animal sustainable washing" (money laundering) enterprises.
Bushmeat trade... Where there is no limit to money there is no limit to what these fucking pricks can get.
There will always be fucking humans (Homo fuckensis) ready to sell whatever anyone who is rich and bored and is craving for some devil´s food to make him more insane is willing to buy.
There will always be fucking humans (Homo fuckensis) ready to sell whatever anyone who is rich and bored and is craving for some devil´s food to make him more insane is willing to buy.
Sad... Indeed very sad!!
Soon all we will be left with is empty forests, empty oceans, empty caves.... Just "hogging humans", fucking and killing around.
Right now tropical biomes are being systematically emptied of their precious wildlife by poachers and "hungry" humans.
Many a time only "hungry" for radio batteries, TV sets or weekend clothes to outdo their neighbours, putting aside the exceptions.
Many a time only "hungry" for radio batteries, TV sets or weekend clothes to outdo their neighbours, putting aside the exceptions.
Unnecessary consumption and squandering habits have been globalised and have grabbed by the balls and "chinastes" (ovaries) most humans everywhere.
Poachers and "hungry" people are the first link in a chain that has many links until it becomes a damn complex and huge web of fucking bushmeat traffickers worldwide (Video 1).
And there are a lot of Fuktolios on the face of the Earth. Damn too many!!
Are you one of them? Hope not.
Should you suspect anyone is a Fuktolio who belongs to the bushmeat mafia make sure you denounce such a demon to the nearest authorities.
But be careful, for these bushmeat demons have also infiltrated the cop´s layer of the human social cake.
Follow the bloody trail left by the bushmeat mafia. Find them in your neighbourhood.
Fuck bushmeat traffickers!!!!!
References
Lindsey P. A., Balme G., Becker M., Begg C., Bento C., Bocchino C., Dickman A., Diggle R. W., Eves H., Henschel P., Lewis D., Marnewick K., Mattheus J., McNuttm W., McRobb R., Midlane N., Milanzi J., Morley R., Murphree M., Opyene V., Phadima J., Purchase G.,ac, Rentsch D., Roche C., Shaw J., van der Westhuizen H., Van Vliet N. & Zisadza-Gandiwa P. (2013). The bushmeat trade in African savannas: Impacts, drivers, and possible solutions. Biol. Conser., 160: 80-96.
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