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| Linfen, China. Source: treehugger. |
By Gundhramns Hammer & Henri Cagnengues
December 9, 2013
The explorations for a new den were full swing by the aliens who were finished at their home planet Serenax, as they called it but it had nothing of the word serena (serene), for it was a decaying world full of alien aliens in their own fucking backyard, decrepit living beings more on the side of Dante´s Inferno than what they once were, handsome in their own hissing language.
These ETs have been screwing up their galaxy for a million years and now were ready to move onto another, like locusts in Africa.
- Mon capitaine, nous avons trouvé une planète qui a maintenant les conditions parfaites pour
nous (my captain, we have found a planet which now has the perfect conditions for us), said Twixkforfucxk to his chief, a gross looking huge mass of thinking flesh named Sanxguithfucxk.
These aliens have been watching planet Earth since the beginning.
They have been following the steps of the two-legged beast that called itself "man, humankind, humans, human beings, naked apes, homo sapiens", according to the alien reports coming from the scouts in this planetary system.
Thus the reason why they have picked up and become fond of "french" as their diplomatic language based on their eavesdropping the ugly and stinking creatures called "humans" on "earth", another name given to the massive spiraling rock "humankind" inhabited.
To the alien ears all "human" tongues sounded like a hurricane or strong hissing mixed with spitting broken "teeth" and shooting "bread" crumbs out of the hole the "naked apes" called "mouth". And "french" was the hissiest to them.
This is the only reason why they have decided to use it for their communications, since these alien creatures were no fucking idiots that would kill themselves arguing about how to communicate with one another. Something very common amongst "humans", a feisty and warmongering beast.
Serenaxians were fascinated by "humans". They were puzzled by these "naked apes". The aliens could not grasp the meaning of the constant bickering about whether "humans" were better or not than other creatures with whom they were stuck on the same dying planet.
The aliens could not understand such fucking about who was on top of whom since "humans" were as much full of "shit" as other "backboned" critters that crawl about on the surface or swim underwater on "earth" (Video 1).
Video 1. Old lady polluting with her roses.
Perhaps even more loaded with shit. Besides these so called "humans" were always shitting about, so much so that by the "XXI century" as they call it, they were up to their fucking neck with "merde" (shit, scheisse).
Out of this rich planet being so fucked up in the hands of the "naked apes", the aliens have picked up the most polluted place on "earth" to settled down and carry on with their screwy lives.
Where was this place?
It was in xshinax (Videos 2-3). In our terms, "china", a word damn hard for the Serenaxians to pronounce.
This is where things are standing now. Whether the Serenaxians are already here or not, nobody knows.
Some earthbound experts think Serenaxians have already invaded "our" planet, infiltrating the xshinaxian (Chinese) and other "human" populations, for many of these "naked apes" really dig torturing and eating anything that twitches with life (Videos 4-6).
Video 4. Chinese eating live fish.
Video 6. Australian kangaroo slaughter.
References
Chang M. I. (Ed.) (2011). Pollution in China. China in the 21st century. Nova Science Publisher, Inc., New York, NY, USA. 208 p.
Suddendorf T. (2013). The Gap: The science of what separates us from other animals. Basic Books, New York, NY, USA. 368 p.
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