HUMAN CRABDOM: CHEMICAL SHAPESHIFTERS

Source: CFT.

By Gundhramns Hammer

January 17, 2015
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According to his own way of viewing his fucking life, Rob Crabinski used to be a shit of a man until one day he came upon something that would change his damn matrix forever and ever. 

Crabinski had discovered the magic of chemicals. Not just any chemicals. These were to throw him into the stardom of the human crabs universe. He would then give credit to his crabbish name that he was so ashamed of.

No more laughs from girls he attempted to lift to the top of his hidden mountain. No more cracking jokes from his buddies who used to laugh at him because he was as skinny as a walking stick.

All of this crap would be soon history for him. At least that is what he thought.

He was really looking forward to fiddling his fucking fiddle.

What in the fuck had Rob Crabinski found that would turn him into a fiddling monster? 

And we mean a fucking monster because he really shapeshifted into a fucking hell of a walking two-legged creature that came out of Dr. Frankestein´s lab.

He found the magic key that, from his point of view, would give him the most milk even though his stardom would not last much longer than a milking year, for soon after that he would find himself buried under seven feet of dirt, thus becoming the delicatessen of worms and bacteria.

His crabdom went nova one day when he exceeded the limits of the upper limits of the limiting factor of all the factors that have to be obeyed if you do not want to be out of the equation of factors imposed by Mother Nature.

This guy blew up his damn liver from using too much of what he would have never fucked with.

Rob Crabinski injected himself too much of the chemical factors that had shapeshifted him into a real walking muscle factory.

He succumbed to the effects of the chemical shapeshifters denominated by chemists as steroids, those substances that weightlifters, bodybuilders or anyone wishing to become a cyclops or an Atlas may use to shapeshift into a crab-looking alien creature. Well, at least in the upper part of the body. 

Let us take a look at these chemical shapeshifters: The human crabs, masses of muscles full of water and synthetic crap, attempting to go back to the primaeval ocean before their time to get to the time of the never ending time.

The steroid story to become a chemical shapeshifter

What better way to check Rob Crabinski than watching a clip.

Here we go (Video 1):

Anabolic steroids, technically known as anabolic-androgenic steroids (AAS), are drugs that are structurally related to the cyclic steroid ring system and have similar effects to testosterone in the body. They increase protein within cells, especially in skeletal muscles. Anabolic steroids also have androgenic and virilizing properties, including the development and maintenance of masculine characteristics such as the growth of the vocal cords, testicles (primary sexual characteristics) and body hair (secondary sexual characteristics). The word anabolic comes from the Greek ἀναβολή anabole, "that which is thrown up, mound", and the word androgenic from the Greek ἀνδρός andros, "of a man" + -γενής -genes, "born". [Documentary For Everyone]

Video 1. Human crabdom: Steroids in sports.

The funny thing is that Rob Crabinski was so busy filling up his body muscles with anabolic crap and water that in a whole year he never took the time to exercise the muscle he wanted to exercise so much. The one muscle that ruled his fucking life and which in the end put him on the fast road to the funeral home.

Crabinski was only 29 when he kicked the bucket.

His human crabdom was too short. He got to the finish line faster than a crab!

Which goes to show you that it is not nice to try to fool Mother Nature. 

The end of the line

Mon Capitaine, the human bazaar is full of people who want to play with fire and finish the line not with smoke in their eyes but with a smoking dead ass.

Oui, mon ami. Humans are fucking crazy. They should not fuck with these shapeshifting chemicals at all. It is fucking dangerous, mon ami!


See you later alligators! 

Source: Jessica´s Health Blog.

References 

Krüskemper H.-L. (1968). Anabolic Steroids. Translated from German by Charles H. Doering. Academic Press, New York, NY, USA. 236 p.

Lenehan P. (2003). Anabolic Steroids and Other Performance Enhancing Drugs. Taylor & Francis, Taylor & Francis Group, London, UK. 146 p.

Disclaimer

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.