By Gundhramns Hammer
WARNING: NOT FOR DELICATE FOLKS!
We have often said that we humans are sustainable only when dead. But even at this point, when all of our bickering, fighting, shopping, killing each other, shitting, farting and fucking around, devouring Earth, plus a whole slew of etcs. is over with, when we set sail on the Trip of No Return, we are still not yet sustainable.
It all depends on how you are buried.
Caskets are fucking expensive (Fig. 1). So are the nasty chemicals the embalmer will use to make you decent and fresh looking and keep your body from rotting until your folks bid you farewell.
This way your mass of dead flesh will not scare the shit out of the crowd gathered to say goodbye to you before your take on the last outing on the way to your final pit.
Otherwise, if you looked like jerky beef, rotten hamburger meat or mashed ripe bananas, some members of the farewell party may feel like puking or really throw up all over the you that is no longer you.
Neither the fancy caskets not these chemicals are in the realm of green.
If your folks bury you inside a concrete vault, this will also skyrocket your burial. But here again, this is not green.
At the extreme of unsustainability, we have the case of sending to the final resting place any member of the upper echelons in human society.
If whilst in life you were a queen, king or big shot in the community, you bet the whole fucking burial ceremony will be extremely expensive to run and therefore way up unsustainable.
Next there is the stuff of the funerary monument or mausoleum.
Remember Diana´s?
Human vultures and flower shops make a kill out of her. Such a ceremony was definitely not green (Video 1).
And this has not ended yet. There is still the thing of fancy anniversaries.
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| Figure 1. Expensive fancy casket. Source: Ronan Funeral Home. |
This way your mass of dead flesh will not scare the shit out of the crowd gathered to say goodbye to you before your take on the last outing on the way to your final pit.
Otherwise, if you looked like jerky beef, rotten hamburger meat or mashed ripe bananas, some members of the farewell party may feel like puking or really throw up all over the you that is no longer you.
Neither the fancy caskets not these chemicals are in the realm of green.
If your folks bury you inside a concrete vault, this will also skyrocket your burial. But here again, this is not green.
At the extreme of unsustainability, we have the case of sending to the final resting place any member of the upper echelons in human society.
If whilst in life you were a queen, king or big shot in the community, you bet the whole fucking burial ceremony will be extremely expensive to run and therefore way up unsustainable.
Next there is the stuff of the funerary monument or mausoleum.
Remember Diana´s?
Human vultures and flower shops make a kill out of her. Such a ceremony was definitely not green (Video 1).
Video 1. Princess Diana´s funeral.
And this has not ended yet. There is still the thing of fancy anniversaries.
We all know that human vultures are always on the look out to make a lot of money.
Human cadavers have become big cash for funeral homes or for crooks and mafiosi who will tear your carcass apart in a secret lab to extract and sell your body parts used to fix other body parts of ailing folks who have the money to keep going in this Valley of Tears.
Human cadavers have become big cash for funeral homes or for crooks and mafiosi who will tear your carcass apart in a secret lab to extract and sell your body parts used to fix other body parts of ailing folks who have the money to keep going in this Valley of Tears.
Trafficking human body parts is big business.
All of this activity is definitely not green. It is black!
Then you can up with another idea: Why not making my dead body useful to science?
All of this activity is definitely not green. It is black!
Then you can up with another idea: Why not making my dead body useful to science?
If you donate your body to a med school, rest assured some freaky med students will come along to make fun of your dead heap of flesh and bones whilst training to be good physicians or lousy legalised killers and robbers.
We once caught a couple of our med students (males, of course!) sticking back and forth, i.e., fiddling away, a dissecting probe in the vagina of a human cadaver in our anatomy lab back in the 80s.
If these fucking bastards were "having fun" with a dead body, what the fuck can you expect from them as professionals?
Of course, the head of the med school reprimanded them for such a conduct performed even on a dead body.
All in all, human cadavers are expensive to keep in an anatomy laboratory. You have to use refrigeration and/or preserving chemicals, etc., otherwise the fungi and bacteria will end up chewing the bodies up. They will in the end anyway.
This aspect of dealing with dead bodies is therefore not green. Useful to science, yes. But not sustainable in the long run.
And it becomes even nongreener if some greedy folks in the med school will profit from your dead body.
Experts say it happens all the time.
How about incinarating your body?
Not green. Too much gas or electricity to turn your dead body into ashes.
We once caught a couple of our med students (males, of course!) sticking back and forth, i.e., fiddling away, a dissecting probe in the vagina of a human cadaver in our anatomy lab back in the 80s.
If these fucking bastards were "having fun" with a dead body, what the fuck can you expect from them as professionals?
Of course, the head of the med school reprimanded them for such a conduct performed even on a dead body.
All in all, human cadavers are expensive to keep in an anatomy laboratory. You have to use refrigeration and/or preserving chemicals, etc., otherwise the fungi and bacteria will end up chewing the bodies up. They will in the end anyway.
This aspect of dealing with dead bodies is therefore not green. Useful to science, yes. But not sustainable in the long run.
And it becomes even nongreener if some greedy folks in the med school will profit from your dead body.
Experts say it happens all the time.
How about incinarating your body?
Not green. Too much gas or electricity to turn your dead body into ashes.
Any way you look at it, human vultures have made a huge business out of death and obviously have put it into the box of unsustainable things.
And indeed it is big business. But not green, though.
This is why some people have come up with the idea of a "green burial" or "sustainable burial".
Read the following interesting articles:
On this matters, Pablo Escobar was way ahead of everybody. He practiced real green burial techniques in his ranch to get rid of those narcos he screwed. Crocs had a feast with them.
Whatever might be, even here the human vultures are already making money with green burials!!
If you do not believe us, go to the banks of the Ganges River in India. Nobody will burn your dead body for free.
There is another matter.
At the rate we are consuming Earth´s natural resources, it will not be long before we are munching "Soylent Green" cookies?
Getting rid of human corpses would then be a bit more on the sustainable side. Don´t you think so?
But the problem is that people have a fucking hard time changing their habits.
In such a case, there would have to be a massive campaign to promote cannibalism to recycle dead human bodies.
Those of you who already eat animal cadavers (Video 2) would not have much problem switching to authentic cannibalism. In a way, you already are cannibals (Fig. 2).
And those folks that are into eating human meat are already there. Some of them actually recycle their dead relatives (Figs. 3-4).
But with vegetarians or vegans, this business of cannibalism would be a different ballgame.
Altough they munch live veggies or eat boiled live plant embryos, they would not swallow this fucking pill so easily.
How about contagious diseases from this kind of recycling?
Here is the big problem.
Too risky.
Eating meat is always a risky business.
People are already getting Alzheimer´s Disease from eating meat from animals raised in CAFOs or spongiform encepahlopathy causing prions from eating deer meat.
But most doctors never link this or other illnesses with food habits.
Neither will the folks that control the meat or hunting lobby. They will not tell the public the truth! Too much too lose!
Besides, people will get madder than already are.
And if you are a weirdo already thinking of eating your dead aunt, remember you can be fucked up too by doing this illegal stuff.
A type of transmissible spongiform encephalopathy called "kuru" (a secret experiment by mad scientists?) killed a lot of people in Papua New Guinea in the 1950s. Their loving cannibalism sent them to hell.
Eating vegetables is risky too.
There are many diseases that can be contracted by eating veggies.
For instance, "liver rot", a disease caused by the liver fluke (Fasciola hepatica) can be picked up by eating fresh watercress (nasturtium officinale).
There is also some evidence that prions - those creepy, deformed, contagious proteins particles (or are contagious and deformed rickettsia?) that can cause transmissible spongiform encephalopathies (TSE) in mammals such as Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE) or "mad cow disease", Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD), variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (vCJD), Chronic Wasting Disease (CWD), etc. - can be absorbed from the soil by plants such as corn (Zea mays), tomatoes (Solanum lycopersicum), barley (Hordeum vulgare) and alfalfa (Medicago sativa), according to Johnson (2013).
Fuck!
It is scary stuff!
Anyway, this is the window through which the human vultures that profit from death entered our society.
Whichever way you decide for yourself or your folks decide for you, the green burial is not such a bad idea after all.
Nonetheless, as far as sustainable burial is concerned, it is all up to you or those you leave behind you what to do with you once you are not you on this Earth.
We will leave it here, folks.
See you later alligators!
References
Cheny A. (2006). Body Brokers: Inside America´s Underground Trade in Human Remains. Broadway Books, New York, NY, USA. 205 p.
Johnson C. (2013). Uptake of Prions into Plants. U.S. Geological Survey, Madison, WI, USA. Abstract.
Read the following interesting articles:
- Human Bodies for Fertilizer? by Greg Logsdon.
- Green Burials by Renee Wellman.
On this matters, Pablo Escobar was way ahead of everybody. He practiced real green burial techniques in his ranch to get rid of those narcos he screwed. Crocs had a feast with them.
Whatever might be, even here the human vultures are already making money with green burials!!
If you do not believe us, go to the banks of the Ganges River in India. Nobody will burn your dead body for free.
There is another matter.
At the rate we are consuming Earth´s natural resources, it will not be long before we are munching "Soylent Green" cookies?
Getting rid of human corpses would then be a bit more on the sustainable side. Don´t you think so?
But the problem is that people have a fucking hard time changing their habits.
In such a case, there would have to be a massive campaign to promote cannibalism to recycle dead human bodies.
Those of you who already eat animal cadavers (Video 2) would not have much problem switching to authentic cannibalism. In a way, you already are cannibals (Fig. 2).
Video 2. Cow´s hell: Source of animal cadavers.
 |
| Figure 2. Man eating meat. Source: Blisstree. |
And those folks that are into eating human meat are already there. Some of them actually recycle their dead relatives (Figs. 3-4).
 |
| Figure 3. Cannibals butchering their dead uncle. Source: News Update. |
 |
Figure 4. Cannibals cooking their dead uncle. Source: News Update.
|
But with vegetarians or vegans, this business of cannibalism would be a different ballgame.
Altough they munch live veggies or eat boiled live plant embryos, they would not swallow this fucking pill so easily.
How about contagious diseases from this kind of recycling?
Here is the big problem.
Too risky.
Eating meat is always a risky business.
People are already getting Alzheimer´s Disease from eating meat from animals raised in CAFOs or spongiform encepahlopathy causing prions from eating deer meat.
But most doctors never link this or other illnesses with food habits.
Neither will the folks that control the meat or hunting lobby. They will not tell the public the truth! Too much too lose!
Besides, people will get madder than already are.
And if you are a weirdo already thinking of eating your dead aunt, remember you can be fucked up too by doing this illegal stuff.
A type of transmissible spongiform encephalopathy called "kuru" (a secret experiment by mad scientists?) killed a lot of people in Papua New Guinea in the 1950s. Their loving cannibalism sent them to hell.
Eating vegetables is risky too.
There are many diseases that can be contracted by eating veggies.
For instance, "liver rot", a disease caused by the liver fluke (Fasciola hepatica) can be picked up by eating fresh watercress (nasturtium officinale).
There is also some evidence that prions - those creepy, deformed, contagious proteins particles (or are contagious and deformed rickettsia?) that can cause transmissible spongiform encephalopathies (TSE) in mammals such as Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE) or "mad cow disease", Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD), variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (vCJD), Chronic Wasting Disease (CWD), etc. - can be absorbed from the soil by plants such as corn (Zea mays), tomatoes (Solanum lycopersicum), barley (Hordeum vulgare) and alfalfa (Medicago sativa), according to Johnson (2013).
Fuck!
It is scary stuff!
Anyway, this is the window through which the human vultures that profit from death entered our society.
Whichever way you decide for yourself or your folks decide for you, the green burial is not such a bad idea after all.
Nonetheless, as far as sustainable burial is concerned, it is all up to you or those you leave behind you what to do with you once you are not you on this Earth.
We will leave it here, folks.
See you later alligators!
References
Cheny A. (2006). Body Brokers: Inside America´s Underground Trade in Human Remains. Broadway Books, New York, NY, USA. 205 p.
Johnson C. (2013). Uptake of Prions into Plants. U.S. Geological Survey, Madison, WI, USA. Abstract.
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